The hamburger that saved Nepal

In News Item, Review by Mr EggplantLeave a Comment

Ellis Burger
Update (05/08/2015)
Thanks to the efforts of our top diplomats and the president of Ellis Gourmet Burger we are proud to announce we signed a peace agreement. They offered to invite us (and our family) to their restaurant and make sure our burgers are well done (and laced with LSD, no just kidding!) Why can’t I stop making fun out of everything… Anyway, Dierendonck (the Butcher responsible for the meat) offered a “meat” and greet and Laurens also gets a free meal.

We choose not to accept but we must admit that they offered a quality solution in the end. The following article therefore should be read as casual entertainment and nothing more. They also assured us that they wouldn’t file a lawsuit against us, another small victory for freedom of speech. We didn’t receive a takedown notice so let it be clear that this update is our honest opinion about the end result. Who said we weren’t reasonable?

Yesterday we decided to visit our favourite burger restaurant, Ellis Gourmet Burgers in Gent. Since it had been quite some time since we had been there we didn’t hesitate to order cocktails, their “foodshots” (Chicken with sesame sauce), a bunch of side dishes like french fries and onion rings and off course two burgers. I had the Ellis Bacon Special and Mrs. Strawberry had the Meatlovers (costing 13 EUR for just the burger). 

We asked the waiter if it was possible to have the onion rings before the burger but he replied by saying most of the staff members where taking their break, they were restocking and “the kitchen was a bit of a mess”. We appreciated his honesty and told him that it wouldn’t matter that much and everything could be served at once.

The burgers were being served and at first glance they look delicious. Mrs. Strawberry had a much larger burger then me. We started with the onion rings, which were fine.  I took a bite from my burger and noticed it was a bit red… Keep in mind, my burger was only half the size of Mrs. Strawberry’s burger and when she took a few bites it wasn’t just a bit red, it was raw and cold inside (like Coca Cola with ice). Here’s a picture of the monstrosity they served us.

Hashtag: #nofilter

I called the waiter and told him there must be something wrong with the grill because they served a raw burger. He looked at it for just a second (it was pretty obvious), and said we where absolutely right and took it away… I told him we didn’t need a new burger but if he could remove it from the bill we would appreciate it. The exact words used where…

Mrs Strawberry: “Do we need to pay for that???”
Waiter: “Off course not!”

After a few minutes he came outside with a coupon for a free coffee for the feedback we had just given. You know… so they can improve things. This was not a compensation, he just gave it as an extra.

After lunch/dinner, you have to pay inside straight away. This worked to our disadvantage since he just said how much we owed him and by the time the receipt comes out of the printer you have already paid. I wasn’t completely shocked by the fact that they didn’t remove the burger from the bill, this is Belgium after all but I was tired of complaining. They kind of force you into making a scene and that’s just not my style, at least not while other people are enjoying their food.

Game: don't fine the Meatlover

We chose to make a scene allright, online… (Yes, because we are losers and we can’t handle this stuff in a face to face situation). I posted the picture of the raw burger to our twitter and Facebook page. Paid a bit to promote the posts since we believe it was important for “the common people” (like us) to know. Then the internet did its thing…

A lot of people showed their support, some even had questions about food safety but Ellis Burger just responded by saying that the kitchen made it rare instead of medium rare. Oh and they also said “Sorry!”. Well problem solved right! Somebody paid 13 EUR for a steak tartare stuffed inside a hamburger bun so a simple “Sorry” makes the problem go away.

It got even a bit more retarded when a guy was so fed up with us harassing Ellis Gourmet Burger that he offered to refund us himself! He asked for our bank info. This guy really put me in a difficult situation. The person clearly had 13 EUR in his pocked he wanted to throw away but then again, he didn’t make me a raw burger so he shouldn’t refund me.

His twitter post

While I assumed that this was just the usual “I’m the king of the world” type of guy who wouldn’t deliver in the end, I gave him the bank info of the red cross. The people in Nepal have bigger problems than a raw burger and if anyone needs 13 EUR, it are the poor people of Nepal.

He posted a picture of his wire transfer on twitter… Yes! He actually send his money to Nepal. When he was told about the fact that he was helping the people in Nepal (starving at the moment) he did not like that. He must have thought “I wanted to pay for someone else his hamburger! I aint’ giving a damn about the starving children in Nepal” (Southern hospitality!). This is the moment you start to lose real friends instead of Facebook friends.

Ellis Burger by this time had a bit of a PR problem. Someone was complaining to them about sending his money to Nepal. This is what we call “A situation!”. Ellis seems to have a strategy, they asked him to direct message his contact details and are planning to meet with him. We don’t know if this will be some kind of “meet-and-greet/hugging” moment or a plot to bomb the Foodbashers HQ.

Ellis Gourmet Burger will also (I’m not making this up, they posted it on twitter) make a 13 EUR donation to the red cross because that’s what Nepalese lives are worth… The price of a hamburger!

We will donate 130 EUR to Nepal because we want to make the world a better place. A place where everyone has a roof above their head. A place where everyone has access to clean water and most importantly a place where nobody has to eat a goddamn RAW BURGER!

Laurens, the person who shared his love for burgers with the world pointed out a remarkable fact. He seems to have found our darkest secret, a bunch of fake followers on twitter. That makes us like, president Obama, Jeroen Meus or every celebrity you can name… Our klout (online influence) score is 66. People who know about the klout rating system know that Laurens is talking out of his ass. What’s your klout score Laurens? I’m guessing 30 at best. That makes us relevant and makes you just annoying…

That’s how we roll… B*tch!

Ellis Gourmet Burger

We are not responsible for any injuries or lasting medical conditions you might obtain by eating at Ellis Gourmet Burger.

Book a piece of raw meat!
+/- 65 EUR.

This is the price of about four Nepalese children according to Ellis Gourmet Burger.

About the Author

Mr Eggplant

Born on a hot sunday morning near Pripyat in 1986.

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